VIEW FROM THE CHEAP SEAT : That dog won’t hunt
Posted on Thursday, September 4, 2008
Just when it couldn't get anymore bizarre I had to see for myself. That I am inquisitive is one thing, but a glutton for wading around in ignorance ? Oh well, its what I do.
I took the opportunity to pull up a website on what is known by Republicans as the "internets"to see for myself what my favorite aspiring politician Gene Long had exposed to the world on the very thing Al Gore invented. I confirmed my working theory that Gene would have no clue, about much of anything.
Prominent on his window to the world, where he unabashedly invites persons to visit, Gene makes the wonderful plea to, as he says," drill and drill now. "What he wants to drill is left to our imagination. Could it be drilling of an impacted molar ? Could he mean drilling on his noggin for recycled hair tonic ? He doesn't say where or what to drill for. Maybe Gene means we should drill for more oil. Okay, lets explore that one, as the most plausible alternative.
To solve our current energy crisis, Gene wants to begin drilling anywhere and everywhere. Off the coast of Florida ? A good possibility, I would venture. Drilling in that wonderful place known as Alaska ? Maybe Alaska, maybe not, with Gene you can never tell. The fact Gene would make the statement to drill for more oil shows a definite lack of understanding. Strange, some would say, a candidate for a state house position would venture to solve the national gas crunch is interesting. If elected, would Gene think he would have the "juice"to pull off the miracle of fifty-cent gas for our lifetimes from the legislative halls of Little Rock ? The answer is apparent, he does ! Nevertheless, Gene trots out his plan, boldly, I might add, and pretends he has a grasp on a solution the oil industry discounts as unfeasible for at least ten years and even then may only lower gasoline prices a nickel.
Trying mightily to rise from the rank of junior block leader of the Society for the Dissemination of Ignorance, Gene has dubbed me the devil. He claims to have seen my spiked tail and cloven hoof. It must hurt his feelings to have such attention directed at himself that a supernatural entity would explain matters. Alas, mortal man, with a certain degree of curiosity can easily conclude Gene is in the deep end of the pool without a life preserver.
Gene continues, on his website, to rail against the amount of taxes he pays as a "small business man "and his proud employing of 10 employees. My theory is that while he is paying those ladies slightly above minimum wage to toil for him, he has neglected to provide health insurance to those employees at a cost that doesn't allow them to pay rent and go to the doctor in the same month. The consummate egoist, Gene thinks only of his belly.
Poor Gene can't find a dog that'll hunt.
------Steve Foster has a degree in criminal justice and works as a social worker in Northwest Arkansas.
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