A Mother’s Musing : Now-rare family dinner renews traditions
Posted on Wednesday, August 20, 2008
I remember when family dinner meant yelling down the stairs and waiting for the kids to troop up and sit at their places at the table. Now it's a feat of scheduling.
While I'm very proud that my children are hard workers, their schedules keep getting in my way. Even the youngest had a job this summer, as well as assorted practices for dance and athletics. The older two have full-time jobs and apartments of their own.
Last week the stars lined up just right, and I had all three kids at their appointed seats for Sunday dinner. For a minute I could pretend they all lived at home and we gathered that way every evening.
A family dinner when they all lived at home was very different than the menus I now plan as a bribe to keep them at the house. Back then, I would throw chicken legs with a few bread crumbs into the oven alongside a few potatoes. Now to tempt the sophisticated tastes of the two older kids, I have to visit the seafood department.
Growing up, they only got real mashed potatoes on Christmas and Thanksgiving. Who has the time for all that peeling and boiling and mashing ? But I learned back when she lived on campus that my oldest has a weakness for mashed potatoes. All the important engagements that she is hurrying away to might be pushed aside for a family dinner if it includes mashed potatoes.
Back then I always drafted a child to set the table and our rule was that everyone got their own drinks. Drinks had to be either milk or water with a meal. They always tried to sneak in Coke, but I used to check.
Because it was the first family dinner in a while, I decided it was a special occasion. I set the table myself and used the real glass tumblers. Every member of the family appeared with a plastic tumbler in hand and just pushed the real glasses away. That's how I knew it was a family dinner. I got to check the plastic glasses and see who was trying to sneak Coke onto the table.
I cook more vegetables these days now that two of the three kids actually eat them. The only boy is still the hold out in the vegetable wars. He's also the only one who doesn't worry about gaining weight.
For years I tried every method I could think of to get my children to eat vegetables. Sometimes I would chop them really small and sneak them in with the ground beef, but the kids could surgically remove a molecule of onion from a slice of meat loaf. Sometimes I would threaten them, but that would result in the stubborn oldest child sitting in her place until bedtime, a plate of untouched broccoli in front of her. Sometimes I would bribe them, but that resulted into in a sudden aversion to ice cream if it meant tasting the sweet potatoes.
Actually sweet potatoes are the one vegetable the kids would sometimes eat, but only if I made them with brown sugar, marshmallow and nuts. I'm not sure, but I think the brown sugar, marshmallows and nuts probably negate any nutritional value the sweet potatoes had.
Since we moved to Rogers, the middle child has always sat at the head of the table and I'm not sure why. I think he chose that seat when we were all too busy unpacking to protest. He returned to his traditional seat on Sunday.
The youngest has the seat next to me. When we put the chairs around the table for the first time, she was still young enough to need a parent close by to help with complicated processes, like pushing the corn-shaped pins into the end of the ear of corn for easier handling. She still sits there, although it's been years since she's needed help with food.
The oldest sits at the other end of the table, as far as possible from her parents. I know she chose that seat herself because she was a teenager when we moved to Arkansas and spent most of her time trying to get away from her parents.
I chose the seat closest to the refrigerator for easier retrieval of forgotten condiments. All these years later we're all still sitting in the same spots for no good reason.
Well, actually there is a very good reason: On Sunday, with all three kids back in their traditional seats in front of a good meal, all seemed right with the world. For a while that evening, we all remembered that no matter how far we travel or what jobs we have, we're still a family that loves and will take care of each other.
Reporter Lynn Atkins can be contacted by e-mail at lynna @ nwanews. com.
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