Mentors can help in reducing bullying
Posted on Sunday, March 30, 2008
University of Arkansas students share lunch twice a week with an elementary student in Springdale as part of a "lunch buddies"mentoring program to help prevent bullying.
The Springdale students are selected based on confidential surveys they have completed - with their parents' permission - to participate in a UA research project called Peer Safety Project.
Some of the kids who get mentors may be targets of bullies, others may just lack self confidence and some are identified as being at risk of being bullied.
"Sometime (students ) just need to talk.... They are very excited when their mentor comes," said Debbie Flora, Harvey Jones Elementary principal.
Mentors help build the student's self-confidence and verbal skills, she said.
"The children benefit from the mentors," she said.
Randy Edwards, owner of Impact Martial Arts in Fayetteville, teaches students beginning as young as 4 years old to be assertive when confronting bullies. Most people are either passive or aggressive when dealing with bullies, but this often makes matters worse, he said.
His students are taught to defend themselves in a fight, but are trained to avoid fights in role-playing situations in his classes.
"Self-confidence is the best defense against bullies," said Edwards. "Bullies don't want to fight. They want to intimidate."
Bullying is an important issue for school officials, students and parents because it is so prevalent. About 70 percent of students said they had experienced verbal bullying, according to a study published last year in the Journal of Adolescent Health. About 40 percent said they had been physically bullied. Lawsuit national news Bullying has become a hot topic of conversation locally after a column was published on the front page of the New York Times about a Fayetteville student who claims he has been bullied repeatedly. As a result, the school received more than 300 critical e-mails from readers.
Billy Wolfe, a Fayetteville High School sophomore, and his mother, Penny Wolfe, filed a lawsuit recently against other students claiming they assaulted and bullied Billy. The Wolfes have threatened to sue the school for not doing enough to stop the bullying, which has included physical attacks and cyberbullying. The school has a no-tolerance policy against harassment. School officials said they have followed policy with incidents involving Billy, but they cannot disclose specific student discipline because of federal student privacy laws. The Wolfes and their attorney, Westbrook Doss, have been featured in national news over the past several days. "It's a nationwide issue," said Doss.
About the study The Peer Safety Project study is in its fourth year at Springdale School District and the results will soon be published for peer review, said Dr. Tim Cavell, a UA professor and director of clinical training at the Department of Psychology.
The study examines several aspects of bullying, including what makes it worse and what makes it better.
"We have studied how kids get bullied, but we have not tested interventions," he said.
The study has shown that kids who have friends and are part of the "social fabric"are less likely to be bullied. "Perhaps the single best thing a parent can do is help the student form and maintain at least one close, healthy friendship," said Cavell. Parents should also teach children to learn to resolve conflicts with friends and siblings in a non-violent way, he said. Parents who rush to intervene every time a child gets in an argument with a sibling may be making matters worse. "Usually parents intervene because (conflicts are ) noisy and messy," Cavell said. "It is important for kids to resolve conflict on their own without violence."
Lunch buddies The "lunch buddies"mentoring program is entering its third year at Springdale and the teachers, parents and students like it, Cavell said. The data has shown that the kids who have mentors are less likely to be targeted.
The program began three years ago with four or five mentors and has grown to 15 mentors at four Springdale elementary schools this year.
At first researchers were concerned the mentors were not building effective relationships with their student buddies because of conversations and interactions with other students. Then they realized they were also helping the students be accepted by their peers, he said.
When a cool-looking college kid wants to have lunch with an elementary student, the other kids now have a reason to interact in a positive way with the student who has a mentor, he explained. When parents confront The study found that parents use three main approaches to dealing with bullies: support, intervene and confront.
The data shows that parents who confront are more likely to have children who are victimized. These parents may tell the school it needs to do a better job or tell their kid to fight back.
Cavell said researchers do not know for sure the effect of parent contacting school officials or other parents when their kid has been bullied.
"There's little or no research available to answer that question," he said. "There is no easy answer."
Adrenaline factor One of the problems with dealing with bullies or any type of stressful confrontation is the adrenaline factor. Edwards trains his students to react under stress using the FAST defense. FAST stands for Fear-Adrenaline-Stress-Training. "It takes very little stress to trigger the adrenal fear rush. A simple verbal threat or mean look is usually enough to stimulate the brain to the fight or flight mode," Edwards said. The effects of adrenaline and fear include increased heart rate, rapid breathing, loss of fine motor control, tunnel vision and weakness of the knees, he said. The result is limited higher brain function and a greater reliance on the limbic system or "reptilian"part of our brain, he explained.
Confronting bullies Once students understand the effects of adrenaline and fear, they are taught to be assertive in fending off bullies. They role-play assertive body language and communication because most fights can be stopped at that point, he said.
Assertive body language includes a strong stance, strong eyes, strong hands and strong voice. These are practiced over and over in a situation where the students are "adrenalized," he said.
"There is a fine line in assertiveness and aggressiveness. If a student is practicing assertiveness and telling me to'back off'or'leave now'in an assertive voice, but they are pointing a finger at me while doing this, it does not match," he said.
"An assertive voice but an aggressive gesture do not work and can fire up the bully or predator to want to fight. Conversely, an assertive voice with no eye contact shows passiveness, and the bully or predator knows they have you now and will continue to get what they want," he said. Students are taught to fight as a last resort, but they practice fighting "all out"in an adrenalized state wearing specialized body armor.
AVOID bullies Edwards said he uses another acronym - AVOID - to teach kids about dealing with bullies. His explanation is summarized: Awareness - Students need to be aware of their surrounding and avoid obvious dangers. Verbal - Communications skills are critical because most conflict can be avoided at this stage. Options - Sometimes the best thing to do is flee the scene. Inform a higher authority - If you can not handle the situation yourself, tell someone. Defend yourself to a reasonable degree - Students should not try to cause serious or unnecessary harm.
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