January bids so long to Santa, but he left behind just what everybody wants - a chance to start over. Whew! Baby New Year 2009 comes with new hope, a new president, eagles on the wing, and the other sure sign of government in action: another year's taxes to figure. 1 New Year's Day; California Dried Plum Digestive Health Month.
The New Year, to some, Is like a fresh plum; But then, all too soon - Pah-tooey! A prune! It's why people brood, And sometimes get stewed.
THE PLUMPISH ARE COMING Diet Resolution Week; Revolutionary War alarmist Paul Revere's birthday, 1735.
GOODBYE, GRUEL WORLD 2 Oatmeal Month; Resolve to Eat Breakfast Month. But it won't work. Breakfast has none of the incentives that get 'em to the table for other meals: No breakfast appetizers: Nothing for breakfast fits on the end of a toothpick. No breakfast salad: Tossed out of bed is enough tossed for one morning. No breakfast romance: Want mush? - pass the mush. No breakfast dessert: Oatmeal never leads to chocolate cake. 3 Alaska admission day, 1959. Alaska admits that there's not much point to 586,000 square miles of ice if nobody wants a margarita.
SS-SSSST! 4 Earth at perihelion brings the planet to a mere 91 million miles from the sun. 5 National Skating Month, National Returns Month.
Christmas shopping is like ice skating. Around and 'round you go. Finally, you take the leap. Get it right, and everybody cheers. Slip, and they line up to complain. 6 On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love sent to me ... A partridge in a pear tree. Two turtle doves. And a bucket of Kentucky Fried French hen. 7 Financial Wellness Month and market forecast: Investors panic over rumors of a snowflake in January. Arkansans pull money out of Wall Street to buy milk and bread in long lines at Kroger. RUB-A-DUB, BUB? 8 Bubble Bath Day, and three famous soakers:
"Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn, and cauldron bubble" -
Shakespeare. "I believe I will dip my pink-and-white body in yon Roman tub." - W.C. Fields. "Mr. Bubble maker Ascendia Brands files bankruptcy." - Forbes.
SOAR SUBJECTS 9 Eagle Awareness Weekend through Jan. 10 at Bull Shoals-White River State Park near Mountain Home. Call (870) 445-3629.
OAR ELSE
Arkansas Marine Expo through Jan. 11 at the Statehouse Convention Center, Little Rock. Call (501) 765-1423.
COWBOY UP (ON THE WALL)
Western art talk and reception for Anne Morand of the Charles M. Russell Museum in Great Falls, Mont., 5-7 p.m. at the Arts & Science Center for Southeast Arkansas, Pine Bluff, in connection with
Frederic Remington Makes Tracks, an exhibit of Remington's work through Jan. 24. Call (870) 536-3375. POT SHOT 10 Soup's On cooking class, part of the Second Saturday Chef's Series at Winthrop Rockefeller Institute on Petit Jean Mountain near Morrilton. Call (501) 727-6220. 11 January's stone is the: (A) Jasper - like the town in Newton County, (B) Onyx - like the town in Yell County, or (C) Garnet - (Answer at Jan. 15.) 12 Clean Off Your Desk Day. Clean Off Desk Day Clean Desk Day. Clean Desk. Clean. ! 13 National Mail-order Gardening Month; National Personal Self-Defense Awareness Month. And what do you call a daffodil that knows kung fu? - enter the snapdragon. 14 Revolutionary War Gen. Benedict Arnold's birthday, 1741, but somebody snitched the cake. 15 Rock-on quiz answer: (C) Garnet - darn it. Arkansas has places named Marble, Stonewall. Rocky Mound, Little Rock, North Little Rock, Diamond City and Gravel Ridge, but no Garnet, as the little town in Lincoln County spelled Garnett is pronounced with emphasis on the second syllable.
BY LAND AND BY SEA 16 Live horse-racing season through April 11 at Oaklawn Park, Hot Springs. Call (800) 625-5296. Fort Smith Boat Show through Jan. 18 at the Fort Smith Convention Center. Call (479) 968-5008.
PENNY SERENADE
Tri-Lakes Coin, Stamp and Sports Card Show, 120 dealers through Jan. 18 at the Hot Springs Convention Center. Call (501) 624-0074.
ZERO TO 60
What Comes After Nothing: Post Minimalist Drawings exhibit through March 1 at the Arkansas Arts Center, Little Rock. Call (501) 372-4000.
WEEKEND WONDERS Argenta Third Friday ArtWalk, 5-8 p.m. among galleries on Main Street. Call (501) 340-5305. Joe Egg, weekends through Jan. 31 at The Weekend Theater, Little Rock. Call (501) 374-3761. 17 Millard Fillmore's birthday, 1800. Millard Fillmore was: (A) the inventor of the dental drill, (B) the nation's 13th president, or (C) a cartoon duck. (Answer at Jan. 24.) WELL, AISLE BE 18 Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Bridal Fair, 1-5:30 p.m. at the Statehouse Convention Center, Little Rock. Call (501) 918-4539. 19 Martin Luther King Jr. Day, the state and federal holiday. Robert E. Lee's Birthday, the state holiday. Edgar Allan Poe's birthday, 1809, more stark raven madness.
OBAMA-RAMA DRAMA 20 Presidential Inauguration Day. SQUEEZE PLAY 21 National Hugging Day; "Cold-Blooded Creatures" exhibits and activities through Jan. 24 at the Museum of Discovery, Little Rock. Call (501) 396-7050.
Give a cheer, or give a shrug, The fact remains: That frogs don't hug; They try, but no - they have no hope; They squirt away As slick as soap; And that's why frogs just sit And mope. JITTER BUGS 22 Coffee Gourmet International Month, and three shots to start the day: Mocha Javelin: Gives you the jab you need. Kona Gonna Bonka Onna Bean. The roast that rousts. Cuppa Joe "Amtrak Joe" Biden: Kicks your caboose.
VR-ROOM WITH A VIEW 23 Monster Truck Jam Truck Racing through Jan. 24 at Alltel Arena, North Little Rock. (501) 975-7575.
MADE FROM SCRATCH National Handwriting Day. 24 National Hot Tea Month - the oolong and short of it. Fillmore, spill less quiz answer: Millard Fillmore was (B), a resident of the White House, not the duck pond. GOOD AULD BOY 25 Scottish poet Robert Burns' birthday, 1759. What he wrote: "Oh wad some power the giftie gie us to see oursel's as others see us!"
What he meant: "Frankly, I've seen better-looking haggis." 26 Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day; National Kazoo Day - and can't we please have some fingernails on the chalkboard?
GENERAL COMMOTION Gen. Douglas MacArthur's birthday, 1880, in Little Rock. 27 Lewis Carroll's birthday, 1832; Thomas Edison
patents the electric light, 1880.
"We are striking it big in the electric light." - Thomas Edison.
"Twinkle, twinkle, little bat." - Lewis Carroll.
Arkansas Symphony Orchestra's Classical Grace, 7 p.m. at the Clinton Presidential Center, Little Rock. Call (501) 666-1761.
BACK IN BLACK 28 AC/DC Black Ice World Tour, 7:30 p.m. at Alltel Arena, North Little Rock. (501) 975-7575. 29 National Puzzle Day; National Get Organized Month
- and there's no bigger puzzle than how to get organized.
BALD TRUTH 30 Eagles Et Cetera through Feb. 1 at DeGray Lake State Park near Arkadelphia. Eagles don't hunt flies, but they do eat mice. Call (501) 865-2801.
EEK! EEK! EEK!
Three Blind Mice run through Feb. 15 at the Arkansas Arts Center Children's Theatre, Little Rock. Call (501) 372-4000.
THE BUTLER DOES IT
Looking Over the President's Shoulder,
one-man show with Lawrence Hamilton as a White House servant, through Feb. 15 at Arkansas Repertory Theatre, Little Rock. Call (501) 378-0405.
THE HOOF ALOOF 31 Lipizzaner Stallions, 2 and 7:30 p.m. at Alltel Arena, North Little Rock. Call (501) 975-7575.
Coming next month: February! Call (501) 399-3633, write to Ron Wolfe, Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, 121 E. Capitol Ave., Little Rock, Ark. 72201, or e-mail
rwolfe@arkansasonline.com
by Jan. 15 to suggest February calendar entries or resolutions sure to win a Valentine's heart, such as: "Candy? Flowers? I'll give you chocolate-covered roses." "I promise, every kiss burns off a pound." "I swear, you look your best in flannel pajamas." Each event requires a phone number that is answered during business hours, or by an answering machine that identifies the event or its sponsor.
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